when i was a child

when i was a child...

Convincing merit economy truth

Meaningless words to confuse their own meaning
What they meant, of course
Was so much more simple
Too simple to be said simply
The difficulty in hiding simplicity
Is that is it then not always understood
As he did not understand
It is always so that the simplicity must be hidden
Within confusion
To mean anything
Because these days
No one understands simple, small words

I could not say, "You have grown up
"You are no longer a boy
"You are no longer a child
"And I am proud that you have grown up."

For no one would understand

Instead, the words were difficult
Within confusion
"I remember a time when you would have taken some convincing
"Of the merit
"Of any economy
"With the truth."

And he did not understand
Because it must be so that sons cannot understand
Their fathers
And fathers trick themselves and say
They understand
Their sons


Through mutiny and retribution and loyalty and duty
Through wars and duels and fires
From prison
He is no longer a boy, but the proud father
Cannot say so

And he would not call me father
For I am not
But I call him son
For I loved him as one and
Raised him as one
Raised him
Like a tall white sail billowed out against the wind

The words are meaningless
Because they are made to be
Because simply, to make them simple
Would defeat the purpose of simplicity
And he would stare at me
And tilt his head
And half-smile because he did not
Comprehend my meaning
Simply, the simplicity
Would make no sense

So convoluted phrases
To mean
"You have done well"
Because one cannot tell anyone
"You have done well"
Let him guess through the seas and hurricanes
Of extra words placed
To fill out the praise


when i was a child...

But I am proud of him
Convincing merit economy truth
Meaningless words to hide their meaning
If they were simple enough
He would understand
But if they were simple
He would never
See what they meant

I am proud of him.

when i was a child...

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